A lawyer, an author, a keynote speaker — and someone who watched communication fail at the highest possible stakes.

And spent years finding out why.

The child who never stopped talking

My father said it when I was four years old.
I was the child who never stopped talking — asking endless questions, offering commentary on absolutely everything, telling stories before I had the words to tell them properly. One evening, my father came home from work to find me waiting at the door with yet another barrage of questions. He looked at me and said: “Clearly, you’re going to be a lawyer.
He was right.
I qualified as both a solicitor and a barrister in the UK. I spent the next thirty-five years in some of the highest-stakes professional environments that exist — boardrooms, negotiating tables, courtrooms, and client meetings where everything hung on what was said and how it was said.
And then came the moment that changed everything.
It was a cold Tuesday afternoon in London, in one of those glass towers where the walls are lined with boardrooms and the coffee is always strong. We were negotiating the final terms of a contract that had taken months to get to this point. Two teams of lawyers and their clients around a long, shiny table. Millions of dollars riding on the outcome.
We went through the contract clause by clause. Compromise here, a concession there. Things were progressing. And then we reached Clause 153.
Back and forth we went. No progress. Coffee was refilled endlessly. And then Jeremy — our head of department, leading the negotiation — stood up.
“This clause is non-negotiable. The time has come. You either take it or leave it.”
The room froze. Across the table, I watched helplessly as the lawyers began gathering their papers, sliding them into briefcases. The clicks as they snapped the locks echoed around the room like gunshots — sharp, final, impossible to take back.
Months of work, gone in an instant.
That was the day I understood how fragile communication is. How one sentence can torpedo trust and possibility. How the gap between what we mean to say and what we actually communicate can cost everything.
That moment sent me on a quest.

A framework, not a list of virtues

At first I did what any lawyer would do — I read everything I could find about negotiation, persuasion, and communication. But I wanted to go deeper.
So I trained as a psychotherapeutically trained mediator under the renowned psychotherapist Freddie Strasser — to understand not just what people argue about, but why. That training opened my eyes to a simple truth: people communicate best when they feel safe, respected, and heard.
From there, I immersed myself in research — psychology, neuroscience, behavioural science, emotional intelligence, leadership studies, and cross-cultural communication. I joined Toastmasters and eventually competed at the highest levels of international speech competition — because I believed that the person who teaches communication should still be practising it, under pressure, in public.
What I discovered was this: no matter where you look — boardrooms, families, communities, across cultures and industries — the people who communicate most effectively share five qualities.
Humility. Authenticity. Clarity. Kindness. Sincerity.
These were not just qualities. They were a code — a repeatable formula for communication that builds trust, accelerates progress, and transforms relationships.
I call it The HACKS Code.

Based in Marbella. Working globally.

I am based in Marbella, Spain — where I moved to have a life in the sun, to work on my own terms, and to build something I believe can genuinely change how leaders communicate.
I am still a practising UK lawyer. I am an author of three books. I am a speaker, a researcher, and someone who is still learning — which feels entirely consistent with the first principle of The HACKS Code.
I work with leaders and organisations globally, virtually and in person. If something on this page has resonated — I would be glad to connect.

Books by Remi Aiyela

The HACKS Code

The definitive guide to the five communication principles that build trust — for leaders in high-stakes professional environments. Publishing September 2025.

The Public Speaker Toolbox

A comprehensive guide to mastering the art of public speaking — practical tools for anyone who speaks professionally.

Making a Will

A practical guide to making a will — clear, accessible, and straightforward. Amazon bestseller in category.

A word about practice

Toastmasters International is the world’s largest public speaking and leadership organisation — with over 280,000 members in more than 150 countries. I have been a member for many years, served as club president twice, and am currently part of the District leadership team.
In 2026 I competed in the Toastmasters International Speech Contest — winning at Club, Area, and Division level and reaching the District Final.
I include this not as a trophy to display but because I believe it matters that the person who teaches communication still practises it — under pressure, in public, at a competitive level. The HACKS Code is not theory. It is lived experience.

Ready to connect?

Whether you are curious about The HACKS Code, considering a keynote for your organisation, or simply want to connect — I would be glad to hear from you.